Tag Archives: illness

Out of the fog

I think my brain fog is slowly clearing up. It’s been, what? Three or four weeks since I’ve been completely lucid. I don’t know if it’s the same for the other migraine sufferers, but fatigue hounds me before, during, and after an attack. I didn’t feel the actual pain of the headache—at least I don’t remember, maybe the drugs I’ve been taking made sure of that—but I still haven’t found an escape from fatigue.

I feel worn out. It’s been difficult to do simple things. Coffee has not helped—not that it has helped me in the past. I just want everything to come into focus so I can be me again and just BE!

I’ve been taking it easy the past month. I feel guilty for not working as hard as I usually do, but I know that I need to do this, be good to myself… This too shall pass. I’ve skipped blogging for a long time (it was too much effort to think much less write!) and even stopped journaling for a day or two. Like I said, I feel guilty, but what could I do? I felt tired every morning after sleeping for 8 hours!

I’ve been going to an acupuncturist for the past three weeks. I think it’s making things worse by cleaning out my system and balancing my Qi, but I need this in the long run. My body is probably just purging the toxins; I should be okay soon. They’ve given me some herbs to help boost my energy and it seems to help, but I’m not out of the woods yet. I can still hear my bed calling out to me as I write this. Patience is key. I will be out of this fog soon.

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Flushed

I thought I was going to have a jam-packed day today, but unfortunately all my plans were literally flushed down the toilet.

Last Wednesday night I made the mistake of eating the last piece of chicken empanada, a leftover from New Year’s lunch. I was halfway through it when I noticed that there was something off about the texture. I threw the rest of it out and that was that. Or at least I thought that was the end of it. Come 3AM I suddenly woke up because of a painful stomach cramp. That started my non-stop 5 -minute rendezvous with my toilet, which went on for most of the day. My stomach started to feel less turbulent Friday morning, but I made the mistake of putting a bit of butter on my toast… and that just start the cycle all over again. Sigh.

I was feeling more confident this morning, ate my toast sans butter, and got ready for work. Like some cosmic joke, my stomach started grumbling the minute I fished my keys out of my bag to lock the apartment. After three quick meetings with my toilet, I found myself on my bedroom floor, clutching my mobile whilst calmly telling the parents of my students why I had to cancel class last minute. So there I was, stuck at home once again.

I must admit, I am handling this whole purging thing really well. This situation forced me to be still (on my ceramic throne) and think about things. Some of my goals for the new year are: to be more healthy, to treat my body better, to stay away from toxic people and things, and to spend more quiet time with myself. Guess what? This little uncomfortable illness just gave me what I needed. Like what I’ve been telling myself for a while now, out with the bad, in with the good. Now that you think about it, purging at the beginning of the new year ain’t that bad. πŸ™‚

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