Tag Archives: chronic fatigue

From behind the veil

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It’s hard to think back; so much has happened since my last entry.
February seems like a lifetime ago. I wish I could say that it has all
been good that’s why I haven’t had time to post. It has been quite the
contrary, actually. I’ve been spending the past four months in a haze,
a sinkhole that is chronic fatigue and multiple sclerosis. I had been
forced into silence, too self absorbed and too embattled to function.
I still tried to keep up a happy front—I only post about the
travails of my cats. But even that has not been spared from misery.
Astroboy and Wednesday were diagnosed with FLUTD and were confined for
days at the vet.

Work has been… has been what? I don’t really know. I turned on the
autopilot and had forgotten to turn it off. I feel nothing.

After a scattered and unsteady and jagged start of the year, I must
salvage the next six months, find my own center again and get back to
habit of creating.

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Fatigued Friday

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Purr machine extraordinaire 🙂

Blah. Still struggling. 😦 Another fatigued Friday 😔 I’m trying to get some relief from this murky state by giving my dear Twister a cat massage. It’s the best! That way Twister feels more secure and confident that he is Top Cat in this household, we strengthen our bond, and I get purrs in return to help counter fatigue.

Happy Friday, one and all! 🙂

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Eyesight

Now that I am drawing and painting again, I am slowly tuning in to the present and focusing more. It seems easier for me, too, to resist the gravitational pull of the television and have cut down (a bit) on my social media time. I’m still exhausted and fatigued, but I never really expected art to be the magic cure for that! 🙂 I’m working around it, though, listening more to what my body needs at the moment.

Right now my eyes are telling me to rest. Now that I’m back on the art saddle, I’ve been abusing my eyes a bit. I look at my cats and I see them in colors. I look closely at Wednesday and she’s not just a black cat: she’s rust, gray, and streaks of white. I try to drink in all the details at once, and with my chronically fatigued eyes, it can be overwhelming at times. Maybe writing an entry in my blog was not what my eyes were clamoring for, but it’s soothing in a way. I am only staring at a white screen (with shades of yellow and blue here and there) and focusing on a non-moving and bland object seems to help. Besides, I can’t let another day pass by without logging in another entry! 🙂 I made a promise to myself, remember?

I will probably call it a night soon. There was a time in my life when I thought I was going to lose my eyesight, so I am extremely grateful that I can do this now, BUT I have to be careful, though, and should not overdo things. 🙂

So, good night, world! I’ll see you again tomorrow. 🙂

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Out of the fog

I think my brain fog is slowly clearing up. It’s been, what? Three or four weeks since I’ve been completely lucid. I don’t know if it’s the same for the other migraine sufferers, but fatigue hounds me before, during, and after an attack. I didn’t feel the actual pain of the headache—at least I don’t remember, maybe the drugs I’ve been taking made sure of that—but I still haven’t found an escape from fatigue.

I feel worn out. It’s been difficult to do simple things. Coffee has not helped—not that it has helped me in the past. I just want everything to come into focus so I can be me again and just BE!

I’ve been taking it easy the past month. I feel guilty for not working as hard as I usually do, but I know that I need to do this, be good to myself… This too shall pass. I’ve skipped blogging for a long time (it was too much effort to think much less write!) and even stopped journaling for a day or two. Like I said, I feel guilty, but what could I do? I felt tired every morning after sleeping for 8 hours!

I’ve been going to an acupuncturist for the past three weeks. I think it’s making things worse by cleaning out my system and balancing my Qi, but I need this in the long run. My body is probably just purging the toxins; I should be okay soon. They’ve given me some herbs to help boost my energy and it seems to help, but I’m not out of the woods yet. I can still hear my bed calling out to me as I write this. Patience is key. I will be out of this fog soon.

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