Category Archives: To do in 2013

Yoga

I couldn’t sign in yesterday. I hated not being able to blog and keep my promise. But, sigh, I did my best. Breathe.

Practiced yoga yesterday and the cats kept me company. Purrrrfect.

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The return of the comeback

It’s been almost a month since my last entry. I’ve not only been a lapse blogger, but a lapse-a-lot-of-things since the end of July. Thank God August has been good and that my head is starting to clear up. Today I’ve devised a way for me to stick to my responsibilities, goals and promises. So this means that not only will I blog every day, I’m going to do yoga or some form of exercise, write in my journal, read, meditate, and–the most important thing of all–create every single day from now on. I’m going to talk more about this next time.

I’m keeping this short. I still need time to organize my thoughts and work on my plan for recovery. I leave you with this photo of my journal. I was a bit upset and needed to spew everything out on page. πŸ™‚ Not the prettiest thing in the world, but who cares, right? It is what it is.

Good night and happy weekend! πŸ™‚

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10 days

I’ve already filled 17 (maybe 18 by the end of the day) pages of my new journal in 10 days. So proud of myself for sticking to my promise to draw and/or write everyday. Yay me! πŸ™‚ It really does help clear the cobwebs in my head. πŸ™‚

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Migraine

I hate not being able to post everyday, but I have been out of sorts this week. I’ve been suffering from a severe headache since last Sunday. I tried to work through it, took over the counter pain relievers, but they did not help. I finally went to my neurologist yesterday and he said that I had a nasty case of migraine. It has a fancy name, but, of course, I didn’t catch it. It’s the type that makes you stutter, forget things, make your knees weak, numb, and feel fatigued throughout the day. And those are just the “light” symptoms. Like I said, nasty.

So I’m back on steroids and other drugs. Sigh. I really must go back to yoga and Zen meditation. This is not funny anymore. Less stress, please!

I feel better already (guess the meds are working their magic), plus I feel proud that I was still able to make this despite the pain and fatigue. It’s a video teaser for my HS reunion. I didn’t do this alone, though. It takes a village to produce something like this: the logo creators, the designs that made Cecilia, the researchers, writers, people who suggested the app, technology!, and a cool and organized leader. Glad to be part of a great team! πŸ™‚

Alright. Tomorrow’s another day. Better hit the sack before my migraine decides to come back. πŸ™‚

Good night, world! πŸ™‚

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Travel Journal

I visited some friends in Jakarta and Hong Kong last November/December. I brought with me a brand new cahier notebook from Moleskine so that I could document my journey. I had a lot of fun drawing and pasting and cutting… πŸ™‚ I love my friends for letting me sit still and work, and who patiently waited for me to come back from Wonderland. πŸ™‚

Here’s a spread from the Jakarta leg of my journey and my journal entry written on the plane on the way to Hong Kong. To more trips and adventures this year! πŸ™‚

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One for the road

One last pic before I head to bed. I just want to draw and paint tomorrow. Today was ROUGH! 😦 Good night, world! (Good morning to some of you!)

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Of Rice and (Chow) Mein Redux*

In 2005 I wrote an entry in my blog about how people in Manila (and in the Philippines in general) think it is socially acceptable to tell people that they are fat. I’ve weathered a lot of fat comments since then, but today was different. Today I blew a fuse.

About an hour ago I went down to a convenience store to buy an egg. The owner was manning the place–a friendly, but a tad nosy old lady–and when she saw me she grabbed my bare arms and exclaimed in Tagalog, “Oh my god, your arms are soooo big! You are so fat, no?” Okay, I don’t really know this woman. I know she’s the owner and that she lives in the house behind the store and that she’s somewhat related to my landlady and that’s it. I only see her when I run out of things and need to buy things immediately. She comments about my weight ALL THE FREAKING TIME and I usually can shrug it off and pay for the things I need, but today she grabbed me, and that for me was crossing the line.

So I calmly told her off. I explained that I do not not like it when people point out that I’m fat or thin. Fat or thin, I emphasized, it doesn’t matter because she has no right to talk to me about my weight. She apologized and said that she only wanted to praise me for being fat. Errrr… I don’t think that was her point, honestly, but I replied and said that good or bad, I just don’t think it’s appropriate for people to make comments about other people’s weight. And then she mentioned someone from my building, a person who is thinΒ and extremely weight conscious, and explained that that person always asks her if she looks fat or thin today. You know what, if someone wants to talk about their weight and their looks, then go ahead. Knock yourself out. That doesn’t mean, though, that other people would like to do the same thing. And that person asked for comments–I didn’t. She added insult to injury by asking me how old I was (again, what has this got to do with anything?).

I didn’t think I got through to her because I know how ingrained this type of thinking is in our culture. Even friends do it sometimes and they don’t even think about it when they open their mouths. It’s just so frustrating when this happens! WHO CARES, right? So what if you are fat or thin? They don’t ask if you are doing well–they just want to tell you that you look fat. What if the person has an eating disorder? What if she’s depressed? What if he has a thyroid problem. People should realize that it is incredibly insensitive and irresponsible to make comments like this. You don’t know this person. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. You want to praise him or her? Is it hard to just say, “you look good today.” instead of saying “You are so fat!” when you don’t know how that person is going to interpret that statement.

I said what I needed to say and proceeded to pay for my egg (I just wanted a freaking egg for my noodle soup!), but she wanted to put in one more comment before we ended the conversation and said, “You are different from everyone I know. So different. I don’t know anyone who thinks like you.” I don’t know what that statement means to her, but I’ll just take it as a good sign–I am me and I am not like anyone else. I am being true to the promise I made myself at the end of 2012: I teach people how to treat me, so if I hear or feel any type of abuse, I will let them know so I don’t have to sit and suffer in silence. I am going to take good care of myself in every level and that’s the end of that.

PS. I’m adding the note I made in my 2005 entry:Β *My apologies to Steinbeck. Like his characters I feel like an “outsider” (a Filipina with culture amnesia) struggling to understand my own unique place in this insane world.

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Flushed

I thought I was going to have a jam-packed day today, but unfortunately all my plans were literally flushed down the toilet.

Last Wednesday night I made the mistake of eating the last piece of chicken empanada, a leftover from New Year’s lunch. I was halfway through it when I noticed that there was something off about the texture. I threw the rest of it out and that was that. Or at least I thought that was the end of it. Come 3AM I suddenly woke up because of a painful stomach cramp. That started my non-stop 5 -minute rendezvous with my toilet, which went on for most of the day. My stomach started to feel less turbulent Friday morning, but I made the mistake of putting a bit of butter on my toast… and that just start the cycle all over again. Sigh.

I was feeling more confident this morning, ate my toast sans butter, and got ready for work. Like some cosmic joke, my stomach started grumbling the minute I fished my keys out of my bag to lock the apartment. After three quick meetings with my toilet, I found myself on my bedroom floor, clutching my mobile whilst calmly telling the parents of my students why I had to cancel class last minute. So there I was, stuck at home once again.

I must admit, I am handling this whole purging thing really well. This situation forced me to be still (on my ceramic throne) and think about things. Some of my goals for the new year are: to be more healthy, to treat my body better, to stay away from toxic people and things, and to spend more quiet time with myself. Guess what? This little uncomfortable illness just gave me what I needed. Like what I’ve been telling myself for a while now, out with the bad, in with the good. Now that you think about it, purging at the beginning of the new year ain’t that bad. πŸ™‚

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To do in 2013: Draw everyday

Drawing Twister

My little muse will definitely force me to do it. πŸ™‚

Using my muse to test my color palette.

Using my muse to test my color palette.

 

Or maybe not… ;o)

 

Sleeping on the job again... :)

Sleeping on the job again… πŸ™‚

 

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